While I agree with you in principle, playing nice and talking nice has gotten us to where we are today. The only way we will ever gain ground is to play by the same rules the left plays by, which is no rules. What is it that asshole Chuck Schumer said? By any means necessary? Ok, Chucky, I'm game.
Well, as an observer outside the Trump orbit, my perception is that Trump's generally aggressive and intentionally offensive attitude is what lost him the election (and possibly congress). Incumbents typically win, but he turned out to be a pretty unlikeable guy, intentionally so, I would argue (in many cases). If you want quotes, I am happy to track them down, but look at the reaction to the first debate for an archetypal example.
Part of his plan seemed to be to deliberately alienate part of America to try to reach another part. That is a pretty cynical way to go, and it cost him in the end. Americans just don't want that from their leaders.